


lost in translation

by bigender dean winchester (homosexualitie)



Series: trans winchesters [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (possibly), Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues, Season/Series 04, Trans Character, Trans Dean Winchester, Trans Sam Winchester, dean uses he/she pronouns, sam uses they/them pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28680876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosexualitie/pseuds/bigender%20dean%20winchester
Summary: Dean makes some changes after coming back from Hell. He's not sure he's happy about it.
Series: trans winchesters [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2102205
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	lost in translation

Dean’s two months out of Hell and Sam’s still recovering from her death. Which is to say that Sam is barely talking to her, and is hiding everything that happened when Dean was in Hell.

there’s one thing that’s impossible for them to hide, though, and it’s the pills they carry around in their duffel bag, rattling around while they pull the bag inside. Well, that and the effects of the pills. Sam’s skin is softer and they look softer, less muscled and lean. 

Dean did diligent reading on estrogen therapy, and he assured Sam that he would support them if that was what they chose to do, but it’s still strange to have come back after four months and find Sam a completely different person. It feels like they’ve left him behind.

Apparently Sam got rid of most of Dean’s clothes when she was dead. All that’s left is dad’s leather jacket, which Dean wears like a suit of armor now, protecting her from the sharp memories of Hell. Besides that, Dean’s jewelry is all but gone (thankfully, the Samulet was spared) and her other accessories besides. 

Dean drinks a lot these days, and his hands are too shaky to paint his nails again. He asks Sam once, while they’re driving from Colorado to Connecticut, but Sam’s voice is clipped when they say “maybe another time, Dean.” Besides that, the eyeliner is a no-go, for the same reason as the nail polish. Dean feels completely separate from the confident girl/boy he was before the cage, slathered with makeup and wearing short skirts under his ripped band t-shirts. 

But when the angels start pushing Dean’s buttons, he feels a hell of a lot more confident wearing his dad’s jacket, playing the part Dad always wanted him to. It’s a lot easier to hunt as a man, Dean realizes, remembering his earliest days of hunting. 

When Cas joins them, oblivious as they are to gender, Dean becomes the real man of their little trio. But if you’d asked her two years ago, she’d have said she was less of a man than Sam was, even. It’s strange, and sometimes she misses the eyeliner and slutty skirts. Not enough to bring them back. Someone has to look after the other two, and Dean’s the obvious candidate.

Cas seems to like what Dean’s putting down too, from the way their eyes rake over Dean’s body at any available chance. Dean _likes_ that attention, and she can remember how much she worked to get it, how she learned what west coast guys and midwestern girls liked in a guy and played the part perfectly. If Cas likes Dean as a perfect hunter, well, Dean can play that part damn well, she’s been rehearsing for her whole life. 

So he butches it up, wears the leather jacket and the flannels that hug his muscles and watches as Cas watches him, drinking in the attention. And if she misses the makeup and the skirts, she doesn’t think about it too hard.


End file.
